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What is Your Major Stress in Life?

What is your major stress in life? A few nights back, while queuing in a drive thru, my kids & I were talking about our personalities. We’re making fun of ourselves, and had a good laugh about it. On a serious side, I blurted out that I was a people pleaser. I wanted people to like me, and yes, it has been a major source of stress for me. It has been that way for me. I want to please my parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, bosses, co workers, hubby, kids, etc. I feel disappointment in myself, if I perceive that I don’t come up to their expectations. I feel ashamed of myself, if I deemed that I fail my children, whether imagined or not. These negative feeling does take a toll on my wellbeing. It took years learning this feeling of inadequacy, so it also took years to unlearn it. It is only through God’s mercy and love,  that I am able to accept myself, love myself. It is only through God’s unconditional love, that I am able to say, that  I  AM  ENOUGH.  I am a work in progress,

Hey! I know you.. You are me from the Past

I was a shy little girl, nothing like what I am now. - Debra Wilson

The bus stops. A young girl boards the bus. Her hair is short & wavy. Went straight to the third row and took her seat near the window. She quietly opens her bag, took out a book and read it. She looks so small, all alone in her seat and would cast shy glances at her seatmate.

I would see this girl every now and then as I go to work. I would surreptitiously follow her with my eyes but what I really want to do is to sit beside her and start a conversation with her. Weird! Yes, a bit weird, you might say and that is what's stopping me from approaching her because I might scare her away! 

"Why are you interested in her?" You might ask. That shy, little girl with short and wavy hair is ME, maybe 40 years ago. While other girls of the same age may have a squad they hang around with and do girly things with, I, on the other hand, prefers to be alone with a book to keep me company.

I restrained myself from getting up my seat and sit beside her (if my daughter Love knew this she would be aghast!), I want to tell her not to be overwhelmed with what surrounds her for she is her own beautiful person. She looks so unsure of herself, I want to say something motivational that would bolster her courage.

When I was young, I was so shy, an introvert. At home, I was so quiet and I seldom speak at all. I would cloister my self in my room and read all day till my headaches. When somebody at home would look for me, somebody would answer "si Mel nag momongha sa kwarto nya" ( Mel is acting like a nun in her room). I was just different from other girls my age, other girls would prefer to play with cosmetics or indulge with girl talks about their crushes while little me was content to read books.

While in school, I was what you can call a "good girl". My routine was just house, school, house. My studies and reading were the only things that kept me busy. Watching from our black & white TV was another preoccupation of mine.

When I was in college, that was the time I started coming out of my shell. My college days were the happiest in my school life because I made a lot of friends there and I was active in school organizations. I also became interested in cosmetics so I attended school with full makeup on and that time wearing makeup in school was frown about. Back then, they associate girls who wear makeup as doing poorly in academics but a lot of intelligent girls in class proved them wrong, including me! My love of books did not wane even then but I developed other interests besides books and my studies. I was still the house, school, house girl but there are times I would also go out with my classmates to watch a movie or stroll around and my Mom was happy about it. She wants me to be with other people my age.
You control your own life. Your own will is extremely powerful. - J.K. Rowling
When I started working and earning a living, I was a completely different person from the shy little girl, I was. I had more confidence, I speak my mind and I know I am equipped with the knowledge to perform my work. I'm still the old fashion girl but this time I'm no longer a wallflower nor the timid girl who would steal shy glances to anyone in her range of sight. I have become a woman who has goals in her life, who will not remain passive but be proactive to achieve her dreams in life.

 My greatest blessing calls me Mom.- Unknown

Now, I am a mother with 4 grown-up children. My life experiences have made me a stronger woman. I stand up for what I believe in as what had my father taught me and lifted through prayers each success & defeats in life as what had my mother preached to me. I have already pledged my life for my children a thousand nights ago to our Lord Father in heaven. My life I have, I give to my children.

To that little, shy girl, I want to tell you that, what you are now, does not define what you will become in the future. Now, you may be shy, puny and weak but as you travel the road of life, this will give you the wisdom to make the right decisions for you to reach your goals. Enjoy your youth, you will pass this road only once in your lifetime. The coming of midlife age is another chapter in your life.

What were you like as a child? Care to share below your own story?

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Middle life is beautiful.

Till next time. God bless.


  1. Hi Mel, I loved this post. I could see the shy girl on the bus with her book, trying not to be noticed. That was me too. I was a shy good girl. I wanted to be more outgoing, but everyone saw me as the 'nice' girl. I feel the same when I see young girls, I want to reach out to them, check in with them. But I also don't want to scare them, or be weird. But I always try and encourage young women whenever I have the opportunity. I feel like society already puts so much pressure on us as women, that a kind smile or words sometimes really helps others. Love, Peta

  2. Hi Peta! I am in awe that you can identify with that girl from the past. It’s good to know that when I was in the awkward stage of puberty, girls from other parts of the world like you, are in the same boat as I am. It feels good to know that I was not alone. 🥰
    P.S. I read your blogs too!💕

  3. I am was that girl.... always the "new girl" and never really having the chance to build relationships and make friends. I was the target of teasing and hazing. It did not stop until I was an adult. As an adult, it has been my goal to settle down and raise my family in one place, build a community. My community gives me courage to stand up for myself. I also give me a place to belong. Down deep I still remember that girl who sat on the bus... along. Even today I am drawn to the people on the fringe and make an extra effort to include them.

  4. Hi Regan!😀 When I was writing this blog post, it was my intention to draw out women who has the same kind of experience. We can serve as inspiration to younger girls that they can become better versions of themselves as they grow older & wiser. If they somehow feel that they are inept, they can always remind their younger self that their past does not define their future. Thanks for reading & sharing your insights!🥰

  5. .
    Usually, I never comment on blogs but your blog is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it. You’re doing a great job Man, Keep it up.

  6. Thanks for reading and appreciating my blog post. I'm glad that my blog post snagged a few minutes of your time. Have a nice day! :)


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