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Middle life is beautiful?

Palpitation, tightening of chest, severe headache, blurring vision, numbness in my left arm...I am experiencing them'm having a stroke!

A few months back, this is the scenario, while I was in the office. From the time I woke up, I have this mother of a headache, but I continue with my morning routine before going to the office. I took my maintenance medicine for my hypertension and off I went to work. On the way, I recited my rosary in silence, offering my prayers for my family and day's work. The headache was still there even when I arrived at work. That day I have a report to present to our company's President so I was immediately busy preparing my reports. When my boss arrived, he immediately saw me and in a jolly mood asked me "game na Mel", to which I replied "wait Boss, am still printing my reports". But as I was all flustered up printing, I was wobbling on my feet which I am trying hard not to mind much because my mind is on the task I am set to accomplish. Printing finished, I hurriedly went in to my boss' room. While sitting down with the table across us, he kept on saying, "Mel, sorry this would just take a little while", he was on the phone and I replied "it's okay Boss" with a smile on my face. But what is happening with me, inside me is I feel I'm about to implode! My chest is constricting, I'm perspiring heavily, I felt so weak and my head as if I can't feel my head anymore! And there I was, putting on a brave front because the gist of that meeting is important and I was too proud to say I need help or I don't know if you know the feeling of not wanting to catch the attention of the people around me. I was silently praying, "Lord, don't let me faint, help me finish the presentation of my report". I was able to finish my task, still I didn't immediately went home but come two in the afternoon I left the office without telling anybody what's happening with me. On my ride home, I called up hubby to tell him, I took a half day from work, he asked me why, I just said I have a severe headache. When I reach my stop, while I was going down the vehicle, in my confusion, I didn't noticed that hubby was helping me down, he said "are you okay", I replied "not so". We drove home, all the kids were there,we're complete for dinner and that rarely happens nowadays because the two elder ones are already working and they have different work schedules. I'm happy to see them all and there were bantering while eating but still I am feeling like I'm dying. After eating, I told hubby to bring me to the hospital and he was just waiting for me to say so or else whether I like it or not, he's ready to drag me there because he said I look very pale. In the E.R. they interviewed me, took my blood pressure and it read 90/50.Too low! I forgot to say I took 2 10 mgs of amlodipine instead of 1 10 mgs and 40 mgs of losartan. The nurse didn't react while I said that and simply told me to wait for the ER doctor. They took a troponin test on me.These proteins are released when the heart muscle has been damaged, such as occurs with a heart attack. I tested negative, the doctor prescribed medicines to relieve me. She asked me if I want to be confined so they can observe me more but I declined reasoning that I felt better already. I have a health card and all my medical expenses including medicines were shouldered by my health insurance provider Maxicare. It's good to avail a health insurance, it will alleviate us from high medical expenses. My health insurance includes inpatient and outpatient benefits including laboratories & medicines. Many companies provide their employees with health care so God bless my company for they saw fit to provide us employees with this company benefit. So getting back, I went home, but in the early morning the following day, again I have severe headache, this time I didn't prepare for work, I planned to go back to the hospital and I prepared for it for I brought along my hospital bag. I know something is not right with me and when I had a ct brain scan, it was found out I have a clot  in the right side of my brain. It was a stroke and not a heart attack. Maybe, you want to ask "Mel you said in your first blog "midlife is beautiful" , your web site's name is middle life is beautiful! Now on this blog, you had a stroke and it happened in your midlife,how is that! Friends, middle life is indeed beautiful through the grace and mercy of God. I had a mild stroke but I was not paralyzed, nor was my face contorted, nor did I have a limp or a lame arm, neither was I left unable to speak. All this could have happened to me or or worse I could have died. Remember the actress who recently died because of aneurysm? The news says she lives a healthy lifestyle, nowadays even men & women who are not yet in midlife have suffered a heart attack or brain stroke, some survived it and some do not. Days prior to my brain stroke, I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling fearful, but I don't know why I'm feeling that way. I've read somewhere before that if you wake up or just felt fearful for no reason at all, try to processed what happened to you that day, walk back, retraced your steps so you'll have a logical reason for feeling fearful. But still if you can't pinpoint the reason, a popular preacher once said, pray to God and beseech Him to send the holy spirit upon us so we may be calmed and the holy spirit will pray for us. that's what I did I would pray lifting up to the Lord my unknown fears, any time of the day I felt it, I would pray. And that's how I was saved, the Lord saved me, that frightful thing that could have lead to paralysis or even death passed through his merciful hands and I was left unscathed. After I was hospitalized, many told me "parang di ka na stroke" (you didn't look like you suffered a stroke) but I know why because the Lord covered me with his divine blood and saved me. This is a lesson that we should take care of ourselves and it is true before suffering a brain stroke there are symptoms and I ignored them all. Nowadays, I'm trying to eat healthy, no more pork fats, beef and if ever I eat those only just a bite to satisfy my cravings. I eat vegetables, most of the time my food taste bland, I just seasoned it with a bit of salt, I don't take coffee anymore especially those 3 in 1 kinds. I try to exercise at home, in short I want to LIVE! Health is wealth and we can't look after our loved ones if we are sick.
This was taken a few days after I checked out from the hospital. God is good, I am whole <3

I want to share this with you and writing it makes me feel better because I am able to release some pent up emotions.

Middle life is beautiful.

Till next time, God bless!


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