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What is Your Major Stress in Life?

What is your major stress in life? A few nights back, while queuing in a drive thru, my kids & I were talking about our personalities. We’re making fun of ourselves, and had a good laugh about it. On a serious side, I blurted out that I was a people pleaser. I wanted people to like me, and yes, it has been a major source of stress for me. It has been that way for me. I want to please my parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, bosses, co workers, hubby, kids, etc. I feel disappointment in myself, if I perceive that I don’t come up to their expectations. I feel ashamed of myself, if I deemed that I fail my children, whether imagined or not. These negative feeling does take a toll on my wellbeing. It took years learning this feeling of inadequacy, so it also took years to unlearn it. It is only through God’s mercy and love,  that I am able to accept myself, love myself. It is only through God’s unconditional love, that I am able to say, that  I  AM  ENOUGH.  I am a work in progress,

You Just Have to be Still

Have you observed people, who cannot keep still? These are the people who are always in a hurry. Their strides are brisk and long. It seems like they are always late for their rides or appointments. They talk too fast, and they can't keep their mouths shut. You have to hang on to their every word, so you won't miss a thing. Their thoughts are all mixed-up because of so many things on their mind. They cannot keep still.

Are you one of these people? Raise your hand. One hand is rising, and that's my hand.

That's me alright. Most of the time, I just can't keep still. If I am not satisfied with my work, I will redo it. I spend countless hours or even days, to read, and to study all available materials about it. I work on my computer on endless hours, and before I knew it, it's time for a break. It is time to go home and call it a day. On my way home, my mind is with my work. At home, as I watch my favorite show I'd like to return to my work and finish what I had started. As I lie down on my bed, I feel exhausted and tired, but still, my mind continues to churn.

Wait a minute.

Please hold on.

I have to be still.

I need to breathe!

Creative Common license, open-uri20130606-2071-rcsg66 by Guia de Niteroi, taken on June 6, 2013, All rights reserved,
I know, there are other women like me. Our minds just continue to spin because of the myriads of responsibilities we have either at home or work. These bring a lot of stress to us, and as a consequence, we get sick. We get easily irritated. We feel anxious, and on the verge of exhaustion.

I was in that boat and I want to get off. I want to help myself. I don't want to be in the state of chaos. What I want are peace and tranquility.

How did I free myself from this ordeal which has been hounding me all my adult life? 

1.  I practiced being still and assessed myself. Am I tired, exhausted, anxious, sad, in grief, happy or excited? I have to admit what I am feeling or thinking and not be in the state of denial.

2.  I had to take control of my feelings, emotions and my thoughts by stopping whatever I was doing. I closed my eyes and do breathe in, breathe out exercises. These simple exercise calmed my thoughts and my mind.

3.  If I felt anxious, I don't brush this aside, instead, I think back and recalled what had happened or who I spoke with before anxiety had settled in me. In this way, I have a logical reason for feeling anxious and not being unsure, why I felt that way. If you are fully aware of the root cause of your anxiety then this calls for a valid action on your part to remedy it.

4.  I practiced relaxing by literally slowing my strides, thinking more of good and happy thoughts, and taking time to enjoy my day by engaging in a hobby like reading a book, watching movies or take a short vacation. I find joy in engaging in simple things like cloud watching, tending on plants and flowers, these bring me simple joys and it cost nothing.

5.  I  get away from the crowd, from the noise. Being still leads to silence and it quiets us down because we get to pause from our work and from distractions. It brings us tranquility because we are resting our tired, racing minds.

When there is silence one finds the anchor of the universe within oneself - Lao Tzu

Simple ways to propagate stillness in our life:

1.  Be still and enjoy the quietness of your surroundings. Keep your mind silent, by willing your self to think of even just one happy thought.

2.  Disconnect yourself from your gadgets and sit in your garden or front porch or take a leisure sip of coffee or tea in the solitude of your kitchen.

3.  Do breathing exercises - since breathing is something we can control & regulate, we can achieve a relaxed and clear state of mind.

4.  Set a day in your busy calendar as your free time. Take this day doing nothing or just whiling the day pampering yourself or enjoying a good read.

In this fast-paced life, to be still and to be silent seem alien. People are busy to earn a living, and they want to have the last say in everything. They don't want to be overpowered by anybody. When problems come into their lives, they want to take charge and solve it by themselves. It reaches the point that they forget that they are not in control of their lives but God is. They get stressed because they continuously think of ways to solve their problems.

If you had exhausted all humanly possible ways to remedy your problems; then it means you have to rely on God to provide divine intervention. You have to surrender it to the Lord. Be humble enough to discern that although it is your duty and responsibility to manage your life with prudence and wisdom, it is God who is still in control of our life.

The Lord will fight for you, You just have to be still. - Exodus 14:14

Have you experienced feeling chaos within you? How have you practiced stillness in your life? Share your stories below, and let others draw comfort and inspiration in your story.

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Middle life is beautiful.

Till next time. God bless.


  1. I love your simple ways to add stillness. Definitely will in corporate those into my daily practice.

    1. Hi Sonja! My ways to keep still in this busy world are indeed simple, easy & practical to follow!🥰 Enjoy your weekend!👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

  2. My mind can definitely race in many different directions. Great suggestions on how to be still and aware. I agree....Middle life IS beautiful!
    Visiting from FB The Midlife Blogging Community <3
    Xx Melanie

    1. Hi Melanie! Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend. And yes, Middle life is beautiful!🥰👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

  3. Lovely ideas and I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article and I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well.


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